


A Matter of Urgency

by ThreeHats



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, WWE
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 15:27:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6334339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThreeHats/pseuds/ThreeHats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Randy Savage and Ganondorf are dealing with a special kind of emergency.  All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Matter of Urgency

All characters, locations and scenarios were pulled out of a hat to create this story, which was written in 30 minutes or less.

 **Character:** Ganondorf, Randy Savage  
 **Location:** Aperture Science  
 **Scenario:** Really have to poop

 

Shit. Shit was the only word that Randy could think as he stood in the strange laboratory. He had had to take a shit for at least an hour now, but all he had seen so far were bodies and…equipment and a robot that wouldn’t stop following him around and making snide comments. A few times he had tried to use the Flying Elbow Drop on it, but that had only resulted in him hurting his elbow on the ground and making his bowels move farther down his system. For now though, he had seemed to have lost her. “Dammit!” He cursed a loud. Where the hell was he? And what sort of establishment didn’t have a goddamn bathroom!? He glanced around the new room, groaning when he realized there was still not a bathroom in sight! 

As Randy Savage groaned and equally loud groan echoed throughout the room. Directly across the way there was a tall, rather ugly man with a long protruding nose. He stood looking rather shocked to see another person. “Who the hell are you!?” Randy called out pointing his finger at the other man rather accusingly. 

With a large boisterous, evil, laugh the man placed his hands on his hips, tossing his cape behind him. “I am Ganondorf,” he announced proudly. “And I am going to be the ruler of this world. As soon as I realize what this world is,” he nodded. Randy Savage raised an eyebrow at him. Who the hell was this man and why did he think he was going to rule the world. Had all wrestlers been brought to this strange lab? And even if they were…who was this strange man he had never seen before. Someone new? Randy usually kept himself up on the newcomers. 

“Look man, that’s great and all, but I really gotta take a shit, is there a bathroom somewhere around here?” he asked quickly, deciding not to question the other any further. The other man grunted and looked…a little embarrassed. 

“I uh…I was actually going to ask you the same thing. I’ve been looking for one,” he muttered rather awkward. How shameful it was, to ask this other…strong looking man where a bathroom was…especially after proclaiming that he was going to rule the world. The ruler of the world should know where a bathroom is at all times. “It seems we are in a very strange place, perhaps the creatures of this world do not have to use the toilet at all?” Ganondorf said looking around the place. 

“I’m pretty sure this is just a science lab,” Randy said, looking at the other man skeptically. “Which makes it strange that there isn’t a goddamn bathroom here. I mean do the workers just shit in mason jars or something?!” He yelled rather frustratingly. His stomach was killing him. He really just had to go poop! 

Ganondorf was in an equally frustrating situation…he’d been looking around for a bathroom ever since he’d transported to this strange world. How dare he find a place that was so damn confusing and BATHROOMLESS! “So strange man,” he began.

“I have a name. I am Randy “Macho Man” Savage,” he said posing strangely like the other man had done, though he looked far less awkward. 

“Right, whatever. I demand that you take me to a bathroom…and when we find it…we will fight to the death to see who gets to use it first!” he declared.

Raising his eyebrow, Randy Savage shook his head. “Dude, we can both just use the bathroom,” he shrugged. “Hell you can even go first, if that will make you…not kill me.”

“Right…” Ganondorf scoffed.

“Ugh!” He grunted angrily. “Why is it so damn hard to find a bathroom in this place?! I asked a damn robot but she couldn’t help me at all.” 

“Robot?” Ganondorf said with a puzzled look, but Randy decided to just ignore that. If this guy didn’t know what a robot was, Randy was clearly dealing with some sort of idiot and he didn’t have time for idiocy. “Well anyway, we’re going to look for a bathroom!” Ganondorf declared. 

The two of them began to search, looking around for what could possibly be a bathroom. Randy was starting to get desperate. If anything…THEY could poop in the mason jars if needed. This place seemed abandoned anyway, so..at the very least their poop wouldn’t come into contact with others. Unless of course there were others here, but Randy decided it would be best to disregard that.   
“Dude, I can’t hold it anymore!” Randy wailed. “I’m going to just have to find somewhere abandoned…that no one will see!” 

Ganondorf looked horrified. The idea of excreting somewhere that wasn’t a proper bathroom was absolutely disgusting…but desperate times call for desperate measure. “Alright strange man,” he nodded. “You are correct, we are going to have to just…use a corner somewhere.” 

The two men made their ways into separate rooms, taking a corner, far away from each other…from far away only two loud noises could be heard. 

“OH YEAHHHHH!” 

“AHHHHHHHHH”


End file.
